By Dr Mama-Asu Peprah
One of my worst fears as a parent came true this week when my youngest child got admitted to the hospital. He had been sick for two months, and we had tried every antibiotic available, but his condition wasn’t improving. It’s worth noting that, even as a healthcare professional, I was not immune to the panic and shutdown that ensued. I deliberately suppressed my emotions during the admission process to remain a strong support for my baby.
One of the most significant challenges was maintaining my own mental stability. I understood that my emotional state could affect my child, so I had to stay composed. Interestingly, as a parent, you might not be very sick physically, but if your child is suffering from an infection, you’ve probably experienced it too. However, you are not the patient, which means your sleeping arrangements aren’t as comfortable, the food isn’t great, and sometimes you even have to pay extra for it. You become your child’s sole source of food, comfort, and entertainment. Let’s be honest; watching our children suffer in any way is distressing; you feel emotionally sick.
Adjusting Expectations:
In medicine, nothing is ever guaranteed. If your doctor gives you a specific time for a visit or a nurse promises medication at a particular time, take it with a grain of salt. Emergencies happen, and schedules often go awry.
I also recommend against pressuring your doctor for an immediate discharge date upon admission and holding onto it rigidly. Your child’s condition can change for better or worse, so stay informed about their progress, ask questions about their vital signs, and what’s considered normal or not.
Planning for the Future:
Maintain a vision of a brighter future beyond the hospital stay. Plan activities or outings to look forward to once your child is well.
Celebrating Small Wins:
Acknowledge and celebrate small victories, such as a decrease in fever, successfully finishing a meal, or any improvements in your child’s condition. These moments can provide emotional relief.
Being Kind to Yourself:
Remember that you’re doing your best as a parent. Don’t blame yourself for your child’s illness and show self-compassion.
Accepting Help:
If friends or family offer to help with meals, childcare for siblings, or household chores, accept their assistance. It can alleviate some stress. If possible, change places with the other parent/ spouse so each one has an opportunity to rest at home for a night, or spend time with a sibling.
What to Pack:
Pack essential items for your baby, such as clothes, toys, blankets, comfort items and diapers. For yourself, bring clothes, toiletries, entertainment, a phone charger, slippers, and a water bottle. A white noice machine or downloaded white noise on your phone goes a long way to drown out the workings of a hospital.
Remember that the specific items you need may vary depending on your baby’s age, health condition, and the anticipated length of the hospital stay. It’s always a good idea to check with the hospital staff or your healthcare provider for additional recommendations based on your baby’s situation.
First Challenge:
One challenge is dealing with feeding. The hospital provides meals, but your child might not eat most of it, and the meal timings might not be ideal. To avoid resorting to junk food from the cafeteria, pack room-temperature-friendly snacks like grapes, oranges, bananas, a water bottle, a flask for hot water, squeeze drink snacks, and biltong. If you’re bottle-feeding, ensure you have enough milk for 24 hours, and have your partner bring new supplies daily. If breastfeeding, bring a breastfeeding cover since privacy can be scarce.
Navigating the Hospital:
Pay attention to the times when vitals, medications, and meals are scheduled, and plan your activities accordingly. Find out your doctor’s rounds schedule to avoid being in the shower when they visit.
Self-Care:
Prepare for your day before your baby wakes up, especially when the early morning vitals are taken. Use moments when your baby is asleep later in the day to rest or complete urgent work.
Productivity Expectations:
Don’t overestimate the amount of work you can get done. While your baby is in the hospital, they should gradually improve, becoming more mobile and needing more attention. Prioritize urgent tasks and errands, leaving the rest for later.
Emotional Well-being:
Lean on the support and connect with your loved ones. Play music and dance, journal your thoughts and feelings, take walks around the ward or hospital (if allowed), and make friends with other parents, hospital staff, cleaners, and kitchen staff.
Lastly, remember that seeking and providing emotional support is an ongoing process. It’s okay to have moments of vulnerability, and it’s essential to address your emotions. Your child’s strength and recovery are closely tied to the support and care you provide as a parent, so prioritizing your emotional well-being is crucial.
You’ve got this xx
